that was the condition

But I'm glad it wasn't followed

That guy I was “flirting” with? I seriously can’t look at him in a romantic way. And that’s why I was playing with his hair. Not because of some sort of attraction, but because I seriously don’t give a fuck about it. If I was ever gonna flirt and really mean it? I would be so much more embarrassed. Not so mother-fucking carefree.

But I made a mistake.

Sorry I didn’t make it clear enough that I honestly can’t look at him that way. That I think of him as a girl friend. Sorry I was so callous with your feelings. Sorry I was so flirty when I’m already in a relationship.

you’re pushing me to my breaking point

and one day you’re just gonna hear a snap

whether it will be my neck or yours

i don’t know, and most of the time

i don’t care

This is why I didn’t want you to be too sweet. This is why I told you to stop being too generous with your compliments. This is why I scrunch up my nose whenever you say something cheesy.

Because now I’m too dependent on it.

Because I soak up your affection like a drug.

Because I knew it wouldn’t last.

But no, I let myself fall. I let myself bask in your sweet words. I let myself depend too much even when I swore I didn’t.

Now it’s retreating. And seriously, I don’t want to be that girl. The clingy girlfriend.

So I won’t be. I won’t let myself be that. Even if I already failed once, I won’t again. This is one resolution that I have to stick with religiously.